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CYCLES OF MARRIAGE YOU NEED TO KNOW: – Cycle Four
By Pastor Akindele Victor.
Couples at at this cycle are really troubled and confused about the marriage. They have quickly crossed the honeymoon cycle to competition cycle to disenchantment cycle.
Because they are already disenchanted, the marriage begins to experience troubles at any little disagreement.
A partner is now disappointed about the consistent bad habits of the spouse despite his or her complaints
A partner or both are now confused. What they had expected is no more what they are seeing. It seems to both or a partner that he or she must have made a great mistake marrying to the spouse.
This cycle is the most delicate cycle in marriage. If not follow with wisdom and prayer, it may brake the marriage.
Couples may cross to this stage within the first six to twelve month of their marriage. Others may be within the few weeks while others may be from the first one year and above. This depends on the in depth understanding and exposures they have before consummating the marriage.
Training, exposure and understanding play significant role in what couples will experience during the first few months in marriage.
It will surprise you to know that LOVE amongst couples only play little role in how quickly couples will adjust at each cycle of marriage.
At troublous cycle, couples will begin to experience these:
1). Minor things will begin to cause trouble in
2). Expression of anger because of consistent
bad habits of a spouse who refused to
3). It is a cycle of much vexations and anxiety;
4). Couples no longer see the home as a comfort zone but a burdensome home
5). There will be a state of confusion and
6). At this cycle, couples may be tempted to
start keeping malice in the home.
7). There will be tendency of trying to avoid
THIS IS WHAT TO DO
As couples, it is just a phase you are going through, so don’t give up on each others.
You need to realise that in your parents house, you can’t avoid fallen out with your sister or your brother because of one attitude you dislike in them. Sometimes, you may quarrel with your parents also. That will never make you stop eating in that home, that will never make you relocate to another family for comfort. You stay to fight it out bearing it in mind that this is my family. At the end, after much disagreement, we come to know one another better and so become best of friends.
It is not a day issue, it runs in cycle. Don’t worry, you will cross the cycle to the next one.
These are what you should do:
♦ never allow that affect your love
♦ never allow third party into your marriage
except for counseling and not to settle
♦ pray more and complain less
♦let patience and forgiveness be your watch
♦ eat together, sleep together, pray together.
♦ let there be communication instead of
♦ let not the trouble affect your bedroom
♦ display maturity and learn about each other
fast to cross this stage faster.
♦ it is not the time to punish your partner with
any thing ( money, care, sex, etc) for any
reason, if you do, you are not ready to cross
the cycle faster. That is, you will stay longer
NOTHING WILL BRAKE YOUR HOME IN JESUS NAME.
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