HOW TO LIVE AS COUPLES AND NOT AS COMPETITORS

Marriage involves more than just the recognition that one’s partner is a human being like oneself also involves a return to the couple’s original unity, captured in the state­ment they will become one flesh. There will be complete sharing, with no boundaries between them. As one flesh, they will constitute a new being that will endure as long as they live, as Jesus confirmed in Matthew 19-6). Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

When a marriage is in danger of failing because a couple have failed to achieve this unity, they need to look closely to see whether they are failing to recognize what they have in common and that they are partners, not competitors.

They also need to consider whether they have truly left all others, which is a prerequisite for being united with one other in marriage, to share things in common and not to divide their attentions. By this, it is easy to leave as one and not as a competitor in the same home.

Complete openness to the other is also one of the secrets of a successful marriage. It was for this reason that the Creator left the first couple naked in the beginning (2:25). And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.   He did not necessarily intend them to remain that way all their life.

The stress on the marriage of two people and on leaving one’s parents does not mean that God does not have a place for the extended family. This is clear from his condemnation of rejection or neglect of parents (Exo.20:12; “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee”.  Lev 19:3; “Ye shall fear every man his mother, and his father, and keep my sabbaths: I am the LORD your God”.  Deut 27:16;” Cursed be he that setteth light by his father or his mother. And all the people shall say, Amen”.1 Tim 5:4 “But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to shew piety at home, and to requite their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God”).

Obviously the married couple will also be closely connected to the offspring’s that God encourages them to produce (Gen1:28). But the marriage relationship provides the stable basis from which all other human relationship will develop.

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