When I was single, I wanted to marry a girl from Ekiti State, when I told my Mum, she said, eh! From Ekiti, ah..! They are very stubborn she will give you headache. On another occasion, I told her now is another girl she asked, from where, I told her from Ogun State, she asked where in Ogun State? I said she is from Ijebu, she said all I know is that Ijebu people are diabolic they always like to control their husband with charm.

That moment, I asked if a girl from Abeokuta in the same Ogun State will be better, she said ah, Abeokuta girl, they don’t stay in husbands house oh, they move from one man to other.

I then asked which is better then, she said I don’t even know, is only God that can direct one. When I eventually got ready to marry, she was an Ibo girl.. When I told my mum this, she shouted, Ibo girl! They don’t permit other families in their homes, they always want to dominate their home just for themselves alone. I quickly reminded her of my conversations with her in time past and her rating of each tribe, then I asked her, which tribe is free?

Yes, which tribe is free? If you marry outside your country, they have their own tradition to showcase. Each locality, community, clan, village, town, state, nations have their culture and tradition. This culture and tradition in most cases reflect on our lives and actions.

For instance, you will often hear people say I will show you I am an Ibeku man (Ibeku is a community in Abia State), or I will show you I am a river man, or I will show you Igbo, or Yoruba sense, or Nigeria sense etc.

Anytime you allow this sense to predominate your marriage, you are heading for destruction or rather enduring marriage. There will never be mutuality in purpose reasoning and love; the husband will see himself trying to be on defensive so that the wife will not use her tribal/ethnic sense on him. The wife on the other hand will always be on the look out to checkmate the husband excesses to safe her head from been over – ride by the husband tribal influences.

This is the solution, Be Born Again (BBA) and adopts the principles of Christ Jesus in your home. The world is full of divergence of culture, belief, norms etc, these are marriage killers if carried wholly into a home, but we have a common principle in Christ. Jesus.

Christ is the unity in diversity. In Christ we have one hope, one love, one belief, one goal etc. everything in Christ is one and not tribe nor denomination.

 What are the principles of Christ in marriage?

  1. You are now new creatures old things must pass away including – old friends, family members, negative lifestyles etc. For this reason shall the man leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife.
  2. Consider others better than your self – wives consider your husband first in your doings, husbands consider your wife first in your doings.
  3. Love is patient, love is kind, love is enduring, etc 1 Cor. 13:4-8
  4. Husband love your wife as Christ loved the church
  5. Wives submit, respect, reference your husband as Sarah submitted to Abraham and called him my Lord.
  6. If only in this world we have hope we are of most men miserable. So we have a common goal, therefore husband and wife, you are brethren in Christ of the same tribe of Israel in Christ Jesus (only if you are both born again). Treat yourselves as brother and sister from the same family of God and going to the same heaven and not from different tribe or ethnic groups of this world. Though family members, friends and associate will like to remind you of the stuff you are made up of on this earth, remind them that what God has joined together let no man put asunder


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