See What it Means When Someone Says “NO” to Your Marriage Proposal or Disengagement.

By Akindele Victor.

No man or lady just find himself or herself in a marriage, it takes a process. Just like you can’t find your self in the university without the elementary education, that is exactly what it is for marriage.

It does not just happen, you don’t just jump into it, you go through a process no matter the time duration.

There must be time between agreement/engagement and proper marriage.

What happens between this engagement period before marriage is my focus in this article.

This is not to encourage divorce, but to help singles think well before they say I do. Also, to help couples stay happily married to their partner and see their marriage as a blessing to them.

“NO” to a marriage proposal, or a disengagement is usually a blessing in disguise.

If it is not for you, it will be for the other partner. That is, it is either because of the man or the lady.

Most issues in marriages today occur because the two were not meant to be in the first place.

Marriage is futuristic.

People think about now when it comes to marriage.

But God think about the future.

If you cannot see a future in any union, then you have no marriage. That union has no future.

Consequently, God that sees into the future of your marriage can interfere or intervene to safe you from any breakage in the future.

Unfortunately, not everyone understand this mystery in marriage.

This affects ladies more than men.

They don’t believe that a “NO” in a relationship or a disengagement is to their favour at long run.

They are usually myopic and naive about the whole issue. This may largely be because of their soft nature and age.

Many people go into relationship with various reasons, ranging from love, wealth, fame, background, beauty or handsomeness.

However, only few understand the spiritual part of marriage. Though, many seek for spiritual directions and confirmations, but not all actually adhere to some of the directions. They are either lost into their fantasy that it becomes difficult to let go. Many times, it is not even the spiritual that will give the directions of either to go ahead in a relationship or not, physical repugnant actions always send negative signals to many which are often ignored.

Secondly, others who actually adhered to the spiritual directions or the physical repugnant actions as a warning signals, actually let go physically, but mentally and emotionally, they may still live in a mirage or fantasy about the ex guy or lady, thinking that may be, it could have been better with that man or that lady while they are married to another person whom God have destined for them for the sake of their future.

Majority of people does not know that God is interested in their marriage, and so, He can interfere due to their sincere prayers, the prayers of their parents or the prayers of the church.

A lady was mentally derailed, a beautiful lady for that matter, a desire of every man. She was mad because her man elope and married another woman. The disappointment affected her psychologically to the extent that the family left for the city where she lived to take her to the village with them. Today, she is on her own, roaming around the village as a mad girl, just because her fiancee ended their engagement to marry another girl.

Who is on the lost side?

In that condition, can she still fulfill the purpose of God for her in marriage?

Who will marry her now? It will take special miracle to make that happen.

It Is so pathetic that she lost God’s plan for her life because she could not take “NO” as a BLESSING for her to meet another man that her future could have been secured with.

A secured future with the right man or lady is very important in marriage. This is what God is interested in.

When God knows that you are mingling with a wrong guy that will ruin your destiny, He causes an unexplainable separation.

That does not make the guy a bad guy, or that the person will not have a future with another man or woman, it is just that it can not work with you and him/her.

So, stop killing your self over what should be a blessing to you at last. You worry and depressed because you lack this understanding.

You will learn from this another pathetic life story that happened to two love birds.

This is a true life story.

The end of this story will be controversial?

This two young people were in love, in their preparation for the wedding the man visited the bride’s to be family for final arrangement. That night, he had a dream where he saw himself in court, banging on the court table and shouting, “I NEED DIVORCE” several times. The court official shouted at him to control himself and not break their table.

He woke up panting.

After that day, he forgot about the dream which turned out to be a foretell for the marriage.

The wedding was fantastic but the marriage only lasted for about two years, then they divorce.

The dream came to pass live….

If the young man have opted for disengagement at the verge of preparation for the wedding, many will interpret it in different ways, but it could have become a blessing to both partners and their family members who later witnessed their divorce but couldn’t do anything about it.

“NO” at that point, would you say it is a curse or a blessing to the man and the Lady? You can drop your comments below…

When that young man had that dream, (which I believed was a message from God) and then end the wedding arrangement, the lady may break down physically and psychologically. The man too, may not be able to forget the lady because of the feelings they’ve shared together.

Both may still be living in fantasy about each others but today they can’t cross each other’s part because of the negative experience that led to the annulment of the marriage.

I will show you three categories of people classified according to how they will treat “NO” to a proposal for marriage.


    These class of people are more open to reality in a relationship than emotions or feelings.

They are more sensitive to spiritual aspect of marriage than the physical.

No matter the love or likeness for anything, if they don’t get it, they see it as God working out better things for them in future, including their marriage.

Their trust is on God more than men, they are never desperate for anything in life.

No matter what they have shared together in any previous relationship, they don’t carry it into a new one.

They wait patiently for a new relationship and value it when it happens.

“NO” in a relationship to this set of people is a divine intervention from God saving them from a bad marriage that may occur in future which they can not see but God knows about it.

“NO” is a blessing in disguise for this class of people, even painful to them, but they still regard it as the act of God for their life. They are not naive about marriage.

This class of people don’t believe in disappointment, they see everything in their life as the finger of God. To them, everything is working together for their good.

They don’t see marriage as a do or die affairs, it is better to be single than be in a bad marriage.

To them, a broken engagement is better than a broken marriage.

They celebrate the man or the lady they eventually married because they believe that is the will of God for their life.

    It is easy to day dream, to imagine those good things that could have been happening if you are with that man or that lady (an ex). Most don’t imagine negative things that may also occur if they are still with that man or that lady (an ex).

This set of people have faith in God with one side of their heart while another side of the heart is still fantasising on the failed relationship.

They finds it difficult to move on.

They don’t see a “NO” in a failed relationship as an act of God saving them from an impending dangers in future.

“NO” to this class of people is a curse and not a blessing, even though they “claimed” to be a child of God.

Majority in this category may be in a new relationship but still fantasizes about the failed one.

They are more emotional prone than realities when it comes to love and relationship.

Personally, they could have remained in the failed relationship if not that God saved them as He saved Lot and his family from Sodom and Gomorrah. Genesis 19:15 – 20. Lot preferred to stay near Sodom instead of living far from it. This is the heart condition of this second class of people.

Some in this category may become depressed as they feel rejected, used and abandoned.

Some may result to mental problems, (just as one of the cases cited previously) because they are short sighted, naive and myopic about life generally.

They feel that they have lost something very important, when God is actually at work to safe them from sorrow which they could not see now.

They either dishonour or disregard the person they are with now instead of celebrating him or her.

They see the person they married now as a second choice instead of seeing it as the right person for their life.


Have you seen such people around you?

They know this relationship will take them nowhere but insist it must be him or her.

This class of people are myopic and naive about marriage.

They have their mind set on men and not on God.

They always believe there can never be a better person that can make them feel like this person, which is just a lie.

They are control by emotions, feelings, fantasy, sexual gratification than a reality about marriage.

This set of people can not differentiate between sex, friendship and marriage.

They don’t know that it is not everybody you love that you can marry.

They turn their blind eyes to every spiritual and physical signals that is sufficient for them to take “NO” as a blessing.

They believe there will be a change of attitudes after marriage or that prayers can change everything.

They are like Lot’s wife who followed the angel to escape dangers in the land of Sodom but still perished because she was not ready to let go the beauty and pleasure of Sodom and Gomorrah.

Those who will never quit no matter the negative warnings are those without faith in God that He can do a new thing.

They feel their world will crumble or become uninteresting without a particular brother or sister.

They live their lives grossly in the flesh and not in the spirit.

They feel it is either this man or this lady or they chose to die despite all warnings that the two are not meant to be.

A “NO” to this category of people is a curse and not a blessing in disguise.

My advice to you as a person in this category is this.

Don’t feel stupid or worthless before someone who is not meant to be in your life, you are an admiration of someone close to you or that person you are yet to see that will make you a queen of his life or a king of her life.

You are a person’s dream in life, so look up and not down.

Never ignore warning signals just because you have gone a long way.

A broken engagement no matter the time involved is better, far better than a broken marriage.

It is more pathetic and cumbersome when children are already involve.

From today, consider “NO” to a marriage proposal as a blessing and not a curse.

My prayers for you is that your marriage shall be blissful and be fruitful in Jesus name. Amen.

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For counseling text or WhatsApp:
Pastor Akindele Victor
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