what couples must avoid if they want to last in marriage

Wat couples must avoid if they want to last in marriage.

By Akindele Victor
loveclinictower@gmail.com

Love/ affection is of the heart, so we have to be careful the way we treat each other because what trigger the feeling good in us if not properly handled may breed hatred, at this point the strength of hatred may equate the strength of love earlier professed. This is a bad signal in any marriage.

Once married, ever married, whatever it took you to win your spouse, much more is needed after marriage to sustain the tempo. It is the beginning of journey to a greater future.

What are those things that could quench the fire of love among couples?

Prov.15:1-2 &13, Prov.13:10, 14:29 15:24, 17:1, 17:9, 14, Prov.21:9 & 19, 19:15.

  1. When you use bad or cruel words on your spouse with bitterness.
    No matter the affection you share, if you don’t watch your tongue, you may be hurting your partner unknown to you. The bible says that: “a soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness. A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken. Also proverbs 15:24 says, “A man hath joy by the answer of his mouth: and a word spoken in due season, how good is it!”

As you can see, what you say and how you say it to your spouse goes a long way in endearing him / her to you or scaring him / her away from you. Whatever you say and with what passion or bitterness, go straight to the head and to the heart which in turn determines if passion will grow or dies. Look inward as a couple who knows whether it is your attitude that is the cause of division you are facing right now. Let your mouth be seasoned with sweet words towards your spouse no matter the situation, remember you are partners to building your home together
          

  1. If a partner is too full of himself / herself (pride).
    Pride is a killer of passion in any relationship. If you are a proud person as a man or a woman, it will keep your partner away from you. There will always be strife and contentions when things are not done or say in humility, as a man , the fact that you are the bread winner does not make your house hold slaves to you. Also as a woman, no matter what you have, your humility and respect will go a long way in making your husband to love you more but if you things with a sense of pride it will discourage your spouse. The bible says in proverbs 13:10 “that only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom.”
  2. When a Partner is Hot Tempered.
    Another thing you need to avoid as a couple is anger or bitterness. You may want to ask me, wont he / she make me angry? Yes it will come but God’s word says you should be angry but sin not. I will say be angry but do not hurt your selves as a couples. Anger is destructive if not controlled, don’t wait for anger to control you rather control it for the sake of your marriage. Follow the instruction of your father in proverbs 14:29 which says, “He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly.”
  3. When Couples are Always in Conflict / Disagreement
    Love will soon wax cold in an environment full of rancor and acrimony. As a couple, completely avoid any form of confrontation with each other because it is a great passion killer, it has negative effects on your relationship. You will now understand why the bible says that “better is a dry morsel, and quietness therewith, than an house full of sacrifices with strife. He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends. The beginning of strife is as when one letteth out water: therefore leave off contention, before it be meddled with”

Meditating questions

Can strong love wax cold
Yes                        No

Can strong attraction turn to hatred or dislike after marriage?
Yes                       No                       No Idea

What could make a very strong attraction / love become cold after marriage
………………………………………………………
………………………………………………………
……………………………………………………….
………………………………………………………..
……………………………………………………….
Who is responsible to making a marriage work?
(a) The Man

(b) The woman

(c) Both Partner

What could happen in marriage when affection or love is not reciprocated
(a) It can lead to more affection

(b) It can lead to hatred/ strife.

How can a partner reciprocate affection

(a). By showing affection also to his/her partner

(b). By only accepting affection from a partner.

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